Sausage-dog software

Q

Fish reminded me of this. Some of you may remember when I used these people's software. It would put this little bone icon in the system tray because "we don't want to add more then one!", or something. It was a through fraud, we later decided. There was this one program, AntiCrash, which would randomly say "Crash prevented", and I'm sure it just did that randomly.

Someone bug Fish to fill in his details, they were uniformly hilarious.

-Q

Ka0s

http://www.dachshundsoftware.com/index.html


The AntiCrash thing would make up random crashes of random apps that werent actually running, etc. And the "Hare" PC Optimizer claimed to use a 87- bit kernel or something instead of the Windows one, etc. Its a long confusing hazy memory of mine, that was AGES ago.

Ka0s

Accelerate your computer automatically
Hare doesn't use "classic" acceleration methods, such as a few registry tweaks, and few modified settings. Hare will improve performance no matter what software you use, thanks to a revolutionary compact 88-bit Kernel, which accelerates common system instructions. In addition to that, Hare has a very complete CPU Tasking technology designed to fit your needs; Hare determines automatically what program you use, and how much CPU it must allocate to it.

Mem Doubler or intelligent RAM management
There are dozens of RAM defragmentation software for PC; forget them all. Mem Doubler has a unique function which is able to determine when your RAM needs to be defragmented! Just tick a checkbox, and Mem Doubler will adapt to your computing style.

Automatic RAM preservation
How can you run over thirty heavy programs such as Adobe Photoshop or Macromedia Dreamweaver with only 128Mb of RAM? With Hare, and its "Automatic RAM preservation" function: it distributes RAM to programs when they need it, not when they want it. [Example]

Accelerate games
With a set of pre-programmed instructions compatible with nearly all PC games, GameZap will increase your game's frames per second by near 10% in most cases. And GameZap is compatible with OpenGL!

Easy to use
Hare features a state-of-art interface, extremely easy to use. Our interface fully respects Microsoft's guidelines and is very intuitive. Most of the time, you won't have to configure Hare, since it works in background, but if you want for example to check out how much free memory you have, or if you feel like fine-tweaking Hare, you'll be delighted by its ease of use, eye-candy icons and comprehensive wizards.

And much more
Hare features other great functions, such as WinOptimize, a wizard that automatically cleans and optimizes Windows! It is impossible to list all of Hare's functions on a single webpage, so why don't you get it now and find out what it feels to have a really fast computer?

http://www.dachshundsoftware.com/index.html Theres alot more screenshots, etc.

Q

Ahh yes, I'd forgotten about the "88-bit kernel". AntiCrash would literally just say "Prevented BSOD!", with NO details. I seem to remember one of the common feature requests was to have a "details" option, but I don't think that ever happened! Also there was this option to "scan your programs for instabilities" or something, and it would just randomly display numbers and then say everything was OK. Fish'll also have to explain about "Battery Doubler" on the Toshiba.

-Q

BOD

Haha, sounds like this program I had that claimed to "free up memory", all it did was page everything making the system stupidly slow.

I also have a copy of some program called "magna ram", which compresses shit in ram, or uses a page file, or something.

Q

Sounds like the notorious "SoftRAM 95!"

And as to "MagnaRam": http://www.ciao.co.uk/Quarterdeck_Magna ... ductdetail

-Q

JackTheStripper

The Federal Trade Commission began an investigation into the company in late 1995 dubbing the company's claims "false and misleading" and stating that "SoftRAM95 does not increase RAM in a computer using Windows 95; nor does the product enhance the speed, capacity, or other performance measures of a computer using Windows 95".[11] The investigation prompted the company to recall both SoftRAM and SoftRAM95 from the market in December 1995. Syncronys settled with the FTC in July 1996 and eventually filed for bankruptcy in 1999 after releasing other poorly received tools.

Q

Yea that's why I suggested it, it was a pretty blatant fraud. I'll see if I can set up VPC or something similar with 98SE and get some screenshots of the "88 bit kernel".

-Q

PS. Also: http://www.dachshundsoftware.com/facts.html ?

JackTheStripper

Some aren't even that amazing!

* "I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
-- I'll let that pass
* The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin during World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.
-- So?
* Money isn't made out of paper, it's made out of cotton.
-- No shit!
* No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, and purple.
-- Purple nurple :badgrin:

Hahaha,A-rabs
* The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

Q

I love this: http://www.dachshundsoftware.com/bdoubler/screen1.gif

"Autonomy" ?

This is the sort of thing I mean:
http://www.dachshundsoftware.com/anticrash/screen3.gif

It would just randomly pop one of those things up and say "AntiCrash prevented this crash!" or:

http://www.dachshundsoftware.com/anticrash/screen4.gif

If this was possible, why hasn't ANYONE else tried to do this themselves (EG. Microsoft, instead of those annoying "report an error" dialogs)?

-Q

nightice

"nonexistent library call" is a good one, because it would have been intercepted at load time, not runtime...unless this thing tries to replace things like the PE code, but i doubt the company has the skill to do that...

Q

Hahahah! Statistics may or may not lie, but these are some of the most hilarious ones I've ever seen! A 0.00% improvement for 61 USD!

http://www.overclockersclub.com/reviews ... oft/email/

-Q

nightice

I think we may have our new Maniasoft.

Q

I was just thinking of that myself.

Downloading and installing VPC 2007 now, will put 98SE on it since these apps don't work with Vista.

BTW, anything else I should do in 98 while I'm there?

-Q