BREAKING NEWS
Gates Accosted by Software Pirates.
SEATTE Wa (WW) - Windows may be the most frequently pirated software in the world, but Bill Gates? Evidently a group of software pirates calling themselves the 'FishNET group' were not content to pirate Windows, instead going after the head of Microsoft Corporation.
Mr. Gates was crusing thought Puget Sound in his private 50' Gayliner when a 50:1 scale 3 gun sailing ship flying the Windows flag drew near. He began idling his boat and was about to use his MSNTrumpet when the captain of the ship shouted "God damn this fucking parrot! Keep pecking at my wannabe beard will you...". This immediatly put Gates on edge "I was suspiscous that MSNTrumpet didn't filter out the obscene and indecent language"; he but his boat in 1st gear and prepared to open the throttle. Deciding that the jig was up, the captain shouted 'Hand over them Volume License Keys!' and the gun ports of the pirate ship opened to reveal cannons.
Onlookers described what happened next "All of the sudden the one ship blasted [Gates] with a cannon shot" said a undifined witness; "A huge crack went from railing to keel and back". After 5 crewmembers began firing on Gates with muskets and swivels the Gayliner roared off.
The pirate ship's lookout tore away the Windows flag and ran up a MS-DOS flag next. "This was starting to make some sense now, the old ship was to the Gayliner as DOS was to Windows: These were a bunch of fucked old timers who don't know how to get with the fucking times and fucking use fucking Windows" commented witness Top Karpick. Gates was almost out of range when a lucky shot from the pirates inaccurate cannons blew the propellor off Gates's boat. From then on "It was a really totally 1 sided battle" observed another witness.
The FishNET groups ship sailed alongside the Microsoft chairman's boat and began raking her from stem to stern. After a cannon took the nose off of the boat the lookout replaced the DOS flag with Pirate, FishNET, unidentified "WW" flag, Gnutella, and OpenNap flags in that order. Now the ships true intentions became crystal clear to all. "Most ppl gasped, then there was a pretty general feeling of excitement", "It was like 'HaH! That shows you what you get for WPAing with world!' said another.
Other spectators echoed thoughts of inredulity: "I'm amazed that a ship with only 3 15" cannons could do that to Bill Gates's ship!" said on. "You mean 15 mega circles; a inch is a line, like back and forth, but a cycle is around like around a cannons washcycle!" said Jon Peterson, who was arrested afterwards by a policeperson for quibbling.
"You can't go splitting hairs like that in public." said Officer Mesthos as she led Peterson away to be arraigned in Inferior Court.
After this reporter finished querying both parties in the incedent he got back to the fight in they bay. By now the vicinity of the fight was liberally sprinkled with chunks of Fiberglas and Mr. Gates was hiding belowdecks. The FishNET ship attempted to board the stricken Gayliner; evidently to search it for softwares to pirate as evidenced by the snatches of talk that drifted over towards the shore. While the fire had ceased in order to let the boarders acheive the craft Gates surrepticiously[sic] lauched his lifeboat and made for shore. "I didn't care if they got my wallet, I just wanted out" said the software chief afterwards.
After a search, hurried by the crippled and sinking nature of the ship, the pirates made free with some electronic equipitment. No word on what they were, other then some rather obvious things like a laptop and a Tablet PC, or what software was installed on them.
After an unusually long delay considering the noise of the fight, the Coast Guard arrived. The captain of the FishNET ship was heard to shout "Arr! We're befucked!" and "Spread the EULAs thickly, boys!". The ship then hoisted her sails and made for the Pacific Ocean with all speed. Several shots where fired at Gates in his escape boat. Gates returned fire over his starboard bow until he ran into a bouy.
The FishNET group escaped the Coast Guard ships with the credit of "an abnormally stong wind" as USCG Admiral Braun said.
This was written SEVERAL years ago, and appears here unadulterated; April Fools!
SEATTE Wa (WW) - Windows may be the most frequently pirated software in the world, but Bill Gates? Evidently a group of software pirates calling themselves the 'FishNET group' were not content to pirate Windows, instead going after the head of Microsoft Corporation.
Mr. Gates was crusing thought Puget Sound in his private 50' Gayliner when a 50:1 scale 3 gun sailing ship flying the Windows flag drew near. He began idling his boat and was about to use his MSNTrumpet when the captain of the ship shouted "God damn this fucking parrot! Keep pecking at my wannabe beard will you...". This immediatly put Gates on edge "I was suspiscous that MSNTrumpet didn't filter out the obscene and indecent language"; he but his boat in 1st gear and prepared to open the throttle. Deciding that the jig was up, the captain shouted 'Hand over them Volume License Keys!' and the gun ports of the pirate ship opened to reveal cannons.
Onlookers described what happened next "All of the sudden the one ship blasted [Gates] with a cannon shot" said a undifined witness; "A huge crack went from railing to keel and back". After 5 crewmembers began firing on Gates with muskets and swivels the Gayliner roared off.
The pirate ship's lookout tore away the Windows flag and ran up a MS-DOS flag next. "This was starting to make some sense now, the old ship was to the Gayliner as DOS was to Windows: These were a bunch of fucked old timers who don't know how to get with the fucking times and fucking use fucking Windows" commented witness Top Karpick. Gates was almost out of range when a lucky shot from the pirates inaccurate cannons blew the propellor off Gates's boat. From then on "It was a really totally 1 sided battle" observed another witness.
The FishNET groups ship sailed alongside the Microsoft chairman's boat and began raking her from stem to stern. After a cannon took the nose off of the boat the lookout replaced the DOS flag with Pirate, FishNET, unidentified "WW" flag, Gnutella, and OpenNap flags in that order. Now the ships true intentions became crystal clear to all. "Most ppl gasped, then there was a pretty general feeling of excitement", "It was like 'HaH! That shows you what you get for WPAing with world!' said another.
Other spectators echoed thoughts of inredulity: "I'm amazed that a ship with only 3 15" cannons could do that to Bill Gates's ship!" said on. "You mean 15 mega circles; a inch is a line, like back and forth, but a cycle is around like around a cannons washcycle!" said Jon Peterson, who was arrested afterwards by a policeperson for quibbling.
"You can't go splitting hairs like that in public." said Officer Mesthos as she led Peterson away to be arraigned in Inferior Court.
After this reporter finished querying both parties in the incedent he got back to the fight in they bay. By now the vicinity of the fight was liberally sprinkled with chunks of Fiberglas and Mr. Gates was hiding belowdecks. The FishNET ship attempted to board the stricken Gayliner; evidently to search it for softwares to pirate as evidenced by the snatches of talk that drifted over towards the shore. While the fire had ceased in order to let the boarders acheive the craft Gates surrepticiously[sic] lauched his lifeboat and made for shore. "I didn't care if they got my wallet, I just wanted out" said the software chief afterwards.
After a search, hurried by the crippled and sinking nature of the ship, the pirates made free with some electronic equipitment. No word on what they were, other then some rather obvious things like a laptop and a Tablet PC, or what software was installed on them.
After an unusually long delay considering the noise of the fight, the Coast Guard arrived. The captain of the FishNET ship was heard to shout "Arr! We're befucked!" and "Spread the EULAs thickly, boys!". The ship then hoisted her sails and made for the Pacific Ocean with all speed. Several shots where fired at Gates in his escape boat. Gates returned fire over his starboard bow until he ran into a bouy.
The FishNET group escaped the Coast Guard ships with the credit of "an abnormally stong wind" as USCG Admiral Braun said.
This was written SEVERAL years ago, and appears here unadulterated; April Fools!
Comments
Guess I fell for it :P but still that would bring a whole new meaning to piracy on the open seas if it ever happend:P
Actually, I can't believe that Q actually went through all that writing just for a dumb April fools prank. Kirk laughs.
The story is from liek four years ago, it seems to be *EXACTLY* worded how I remember it, so I figure Q just had a copy of it somewhere still and just reposted it.
I should rewrite it to fit the current day.
-Q
Remember that one April fools where fish added that word filter? "*" :P
That word filter is bothering me right now :( and I acidentally made cuadruple-posts :(
Error in deleting post
DEBUG MODE
SQL Error : 1036 Table 'phpbb_search_wordmatch' is read only
DELETE FROM phpbb_search_wordmatch WHERE post_id IN (108651)
Line : 419
File : functions_search.php
can anyone stop this??? :(
EDIT: Thank godness that error stoped bothering me
-Q
When I wanted to edit my posts: an error pop up: "Error in Deleting This Post" :(
When I made new posts: The error I described abobe
but it`s ok now, thanks to godness that error is gone and I can Post and Edit correctly (and don`t make more accidental cuadruple-posts)